Current:Home > ContactSelena Gomez reveals she can't carry a baby. It's a unique kind of grief. -TrueNorth Capital Hub
Selena Gomez reveals she can't carry a baby. It's a unique kind of grief.
View
Date:2025-04-11 21:38:57
Selena Gomez has revealed she's unable to carry a child due to medical reasons − an experience that can cause deep grief our society often overlooks.
“I haven’t ever said this,” Gomez told Vanity Fair, in a cover story published online Monday, “but I unfortunately can’t carry my own children. I have a lot of medical issues that would put my life and the baby’s in jeopardy. That was something I had to grieve for a while.”
The 32-year-old star of "Only Murders in the Building" said she still plans on becoming a mom one day. It's just not going to happen "necessarily the way I envisioned it," she added.
“I thought it would happen the way it happens for everyone," she said. "I’m in a much better place with that. I find it a blessing that there are wonderful people willing to do surrogacy or adoption, which are both huge possibilities for me. It made me really thankful for the other outlets for people who are dying to be moms. I’m one of those people. I’m excited for what that journey will look like, but it’ll look a little different. At the end of the day, I don’t care. It’ll be mine. It’ll be my baby.”
Mourning getting pregnant is a valid grief
Grief experts previously told USA TODAY that women who discover they can't get pregnant often mourn what they thought bringing a child into the world would look like for them. Though it isn't the same as grieving the death of a loved one, it's a painful experience nonetheless.
"There's this hierarchy around what grief deserves to get mourned or get honored," said Loree Johnson, a licensed marriage and family therapist, adding all forms of grief are valid.
Susan Youngsteadt, a social worker in Raleigh, North Carolina, previously opened up to USA TODAY about her experience discovering she carries a hereditary gene for breast cancer at the age of 25. As a result, she made the decision not to have biological children.
While she said she has a loving partner who is also OK with not having children, "that is something that I actively seek therapeutic support around and a community around of choosing to be childless. And some of that choice is due to my health, it is due to the risks that exist in my family system with both of my parents having a cancer diagnosis."
More:At 25 she found out she had the breast cancer gene. Now, she's grieving motherhood.
As with all forms of grief, Youngsteadt said some days are better than others.
"Sometimes it's hard to separate (the different grief experiences)," she said. "But I think something we tell people to do clinically and therapeutically is that you have to hold space for each one and take all the time you need to cry or have a ritual or seek support around each thing and let it run its own course. And then you can pick up the next thing."
Coping with grief
When it comes to grief, psychotherapist and podcast host Amy Morin previously told USA TODAY talking could be beneficial, but not all talk will be helpful.
"When someone is grieving another type of loss, like the loss of hope after learning they can't have a child, the information might be kept private," she said. "Other people may also minimize the impact of a loss. That can slow the healing process."
My dog died two months ago.Pet loss causes deep grief that our society ignores.
Grief slithers into our lives at inconvenient times. It leaves us uncomfortable and unwilling to discuss it.
"People get worried that it might be contagious," David Kessler, grief expert and founder of Grief.com, previously told USA TODAY. "Like, if I hear too much about your parent dying, it doesn't mean my parent's dying soon. Is it?"
More:Selena Gomez's revealing documentary gave her freedom: 'There wasn't any hiding anymore'
Grief wasn't something Youngsteadt ever planned on. No one does.
But "the older I get, and the more grief has touched my life, I think that's where I need to be," she said. "And I think that's where I need to immerse myself. It's where I feel the most aligned. It's where I feel – it's weird to say comfortable – but it's where I really feel like that's where I'm supposed to be."
Contributing: David Oliver
veryGood! (97877)
Related
- Meet first time Grammy nominee Charley Crockett
- After family feud, Myanmar court orders auction of home where Suu Kyi spent 15 years’ house arrest
- Israel vows to fight Hamas all the way to Gaza’s southern border. That’s fueling tension with Egypt
- YouTuber accused topping 150 mph on his motorcycle on Colorado intestate wanted on multiple charges
- Trump invites nearly all federal workers to quit now, get paid through September
- Thousands take to streets in Slovakia in nationwide anti-government protests
- Austrian man who raped his captive daughter over 24 years can be moved to a regular prison
- DEI attacks pose threats to medical training, care
- Tree trimmer dead after getting caught in wood chipper at Florida town hall
- Score 2 Le Creuset Baking Dishes for $99 & More Sizzlin' Cookware Deals
Ranking
- Spooky or not? Some Choa Chu Kang residents say community garden resembles cemetery
- Coco Gauff set for US Open final rematch with Aryna Sabalenka at Australian Open semifinals
- Army Corps of Engineers failed to protect dolphins in 2019 spillway opening, lawsuit says
- She fell near an icy bus stop in the city. She likely froze to death before help came.
- What do we know about the mysterious drones reported flying over New Jersey?
- With Vic Fangio out, who are candidates to be Dolphins' defensive coordinator for 2024?
- A US Congressional delegation affirms bipartisan support for Taiwan in first visit since election
- New Jersey officials push mental health resources after sheriff's death: 'It is OK to ask for help'
Recommendation
Jamie Foxx gets stitches after a glass is thrown at him during dinner in Beverly Hills
A thinned-out primary and friendly voting structure clear an easy path for Trump in Nevada
Kyle Richards' Cozy Fashions Will Make You Feel Like You're in Aspen on a Real Housewives Trip
Boeing faces quality control questions as its CEO appears on Capitol Hill
Juan Soto to be introduced by Mets at Citi Field after striking record $765 million, 15
New Jersey officials push mental health resources after sheriff's death: 'It is OK to ask for help'
Chris Evert and Martina Navratilova urge women’s tennis to stay out of Saudi Arabia
Here's how much the typical American pays in debt each month